the drunken truth
by iheartankgirls
Summary: he knew getting drunk was a bad idea. but he was still making his way to erik's room.
1. Chapter 1

Charles Xavier was an alcoholic.

And like any other alcoholic in his financial situation, he had developed a rather intimate relationship with the minibar.

He grasped a handful of scotch and whiskey and laid them over the night stand with care. With familiarity he twisted the caps off two of the scotch and held one up in a toast to the skyline. He tipped it back and savored the heat as it seared his throat. Not pausing, he downed two more in earnest.

Alcohol had a merciful tendency to drown out the woes of the world.

"Unbelievable."

"What is? That an adult such as myself is indulging in a drink or two before bed?" Charles sat lazily on the edge of his comforter.

"It is when we've a mission to complete in the morning. "

Charles frowned and gingerly reached for a whiskey.

Erik set to the task of stripping off his boots.

"And what, pray tell, were you doing this fine evening Erik? Something to better complete our mission I trust?"

No response.

Charles sighed. "You know my friend; I'd love to see you loosen up a bit. You have a nasty infatuation with seriousness that I think a drink could remedy." He smiled and offered up a shining bottle of Johnny Walker, Green Label.

"I like to keep my wits about."

"But what is life with careful thought? I find it far more enjoyable to simply act. Take it from me," he hushed," thought is overrated."

"This coming from a telepath?"

Charles chuckled. "Yes, well, one always envies that which one cannot do."

Erik kicked off his boots. "How many have you had?"

"Thoughts? Quite the amount unfortunately."

"For god sake Charles, you know what I meant."

"Ah the booze." He lifted another to his lips. "A good 'nough to feel quite settle in the world."

Erik scoffed.

The throaty noise made Charles fingers twitch. "Why shouldn't I enjoy such a fine brand? You know, there's a special place in hell reserved for men who waste good scotch. "

"Some of us are already bound for the flames." He turned and strode to the bathroom.

"…how serious."

"Try not to get completely smashed. " Erik entered the washroom.

"To late," he called. The door shut.

Charles made out the squeak of a faucet, and then the constant thrum of water on a human body. He flopped onto his back and sighed, eyes swimming with color.

Reflexively his hand went to his temple. After a minute of concentration, however, he lowered it with a sigh.

"Damn alcohol actually did its job."

* * *

><p>"Ah fuck…"<p>

Erik wrapped the robe more securely around himself.

"Enjoy your shower my friend?" Charles lay on the bed in a state of undress that was simply silly. Especially for a respected professor. Shirt discarded, but tweed still intact, he lounged on the bed, folding his vest in his knickers.

"What the hell were you doing out here?" he sat on his bed and pushed damp hair back out of his eyes.

"Trying to get ready for bed. "

"Well that didn't seem to work out very well."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." He sat up clumsily, hair falling into his face.

Erik sat back against the headboard.

"Erik, you really should smile more my dear friend. I think it does justice to your face."

Erik's' lips twitched downward. "I think you should get some sleep my **dear** drunkard."

"No not a smile like that, one that actually shows off some teeth." Charles demonstrated.

Erik indulged and smiled back at him, nose crinkling, teeth indeed showing. Charles openly stared, eyes slightly hooded.

Erik quirked his brow, "What are you doing Charles?" Charles blinked in surprise and felt heat at his neck.

"Ah, just remembering something about tomorrow's mission. You know, this one's a doosy? This kid, Alex, is actually in prison. Solitary confinement in fact-"

"Charles. I know all this already." He sounded amused.

"….ah, right."

"Get some sleep Charles, I don't envy the headache you're going to have in the morning." The light went out and Erik shifted under the covers. Charles remained seated, looking out the window and into a blissfully quite city_. _

* * *

><p>Charles Xavier was an educated man.<p>

His education and aptitude with empathy gave him clarity regarding the human condition that so few could grasp. He also knew himself, even if at times he dearly wished otherwise. But as such, he had accepted and embraced a truth.

All people are beautiful. He could see it in their minds.

Men, women, children, they all had beauty in their thoughts, poetry that flowed from the mundane and focused the world into a striking singularity. Even the wickedest of minds held a dark seduction in their twisted fancies and halls. Knowing this, seeing this, he had accepted that he loved the human form, the very human condition. Female or otherwise.

Whether he was attracted to someone physically was another matter.

"Charles, relax would ya?" Raven cuddled into his arm on the couch. It was a ritual that had charm, until Raven's fancies dwelt in the realm of timid daydreams.

Charles was an educated man.

Obviously he could read the one person he had shared everything with. Even without the help of his mutation.

"But there's so much to prepare for. My highest regards for all your abilities, but Shaw and his compatriots are not equipped to exercise discretion, even with their own kind."

Ravens' plumped mouth pulled down. She inched in closer and sighed into his neck. Usually an arousing gesture received with gratifying attention, but not for Charles. Never for Charles.

"We've been training really hard." She hushed. "We've gotten so much better." She traced circles over the skin of his hand, placed lightly on her shoulder.

"Yes," a fond smile found his lips, "and it's quite impressive of you all. Don't blame an old man for worrying."

"Old? Well I have been noticing a bit of gray in the hedges," she ruffled his hair.

"Really? This is no laughing matter Raven. Stop chuckling."

"Sorry Charles, I forgot vanity was your mistress."

"Always was, and what a taxing relation it has been." He ignored the way Raven pressed closer, knowing full well the thoughts in her head.

Raven squirmed under Charles' indifference. Insecurity plagued her whenever she was near him, always in a constant state of wanting to please her closest friend. Even though he assured her time and time again that she was magnificent, she lusted for his cheesy pickup lines, his eyes to perhaps drag over her in an inappropriate manner to fuel those very assurances.

After a minute of silence however she knew defeat and untangled herself from him.

"I'm going to join Hank in the lab for a while okay? Have a nice night."

"Oh? Well try not to get into too much mischief down there. Wouldn't want to disturb the household."

Raven paused. "Yeah. Try not the worry too much. You're starting to get wrinkles in-between your brows." She was gone before he could fret about the comment.

Charles ran fingers through his hair. He reached for his brandy and generously explored its taste. Bitter, but pleasant with a familiar burn that had long ago been associated with peace.

* * *

><p>"Charles, you really need to ease off the binge drinking. You're acting like a reckless co-ed."<p>

"I love co-eds. They always did know how to have a good time. Very good romps they were."

Erik frowned in distaste. He marveled at how alcohol could weaken a respectable man into a puddle of nonsense.

"Do join me will you? A good game of chess is exactly what we need to pull our minds from the stresses of life." Erik wondered fleetingly what stresses plagued Charles' charmed existence, but obliged all the same. At least chess was a useful game.

"I fear Raven is trying to seduce me."

"And this is shocking to you?"

"No, the signs have been apparent for a while, but it makes me terribly uncomfortable."

"She is a sister figure." He stroked his chin. "Perhaps she has a brother complex."

Charles chuckled.

"But it must be quite flattering; she is a very attractive girl."

"Yes. I trust you've seen her true form?"

"…yes and it is breathtaking."

Charles' eyebrows shot up. "Yes. It certainly is exotic, but not exactly-"

"Her mutation and power are all that need make her attractive." He captured one of Charles' pawns.

"Do not misunderstand me my friend. Raven is beautiful and marvelous."

"But her true form unnerves you."

Charles crossed his arms. "Of course not. She is one of the most precious individuals I have ever had the pleasure to know."

Silence weighed on the pair, the chess set forgotten.

"I love Raven. Do not question that."

"I just think it's a shame that she hides herself all the time. And you, it just appears that you encourage that behavior."

"Well she can't go walking down the street in all her glory, she'd cause-"

"But not even around her comrades? In a secluded mansion with only our allies around?"

Charles was annoyed.

"-and speaking of our allies, I still find fault with allowing agent Mctaggert even on the grounds in-in such a position of influence. She has access to all of us, information about our habits, abilities, weaknesses, it's unsavory. She's CIA, not one of us. "

"Enough Erik."

"You're too naïve Charles."

Charles eyed him wearily. "Do not lecture me on ignorance or innocence. You yourself are naïve believing that revenge can cure you of your hate. I'm afraid violence never made things better."

"Shaw deserves to be destroyed. "

Charles pursed his lips. He of course understood. Those memories and perspectives that he had tapped into that fateful night had made him thirst for the man's demise as well. He placed a hand on Erik's from across the board.

After a moment Erik withdrew. "You always do this Charles."

He quirked a brow. "Do what?"

"You always insist on ending the argument, submitting before a victor can emerge. "

"Yes well, you my friend seem to have an affinity for starting arguments; perhaps we are a perfect match in this sense."

"It's very unsatisfactory."

"We can never have everything we wish." Erik thought he saw Charles look him up and down when he said this.

Erik stood abruptly. Charles watched him walk over to the fireplace and lean heavily against the mantel.

"That is a very dramatic pose my friend, perhaps you have an affinity for the theatrical as well?"

"I always did admire actors. Their easy charm and lies have always been an envy of mine."

"Nonsense Erik, you are very charming, at least I think so."

He grinned. "The lies part then."

Charles shifted more comfortably in his seat, glad that the conversation had been deterred from argument. "Lies are so easily done though. I find it fascinating. We can lie to others easily and effectively, but to ourselves we can lie completely."

"Are we about to have a philosophical discussion? It has been all of a day, I'm surprised we lasted this long." He sat on a plush couch opposite Charles.

"Yes, I'm quite in the mood. Should we continue on with lies?" Erik gestured for him to go on. He leaned back, hands folded together in a typical professor manner. "The only people we can completely convince of anything are ourselves. We can delude ourselves into becoming something we are not, or accept something we wouldn't normally, just by asserting our will. The mind truly is an incredible thing."

"Your passion is barely contained Charles. But I don't completely agree with you. I have on a number of occasions seen individuals completely dup others. Men who appear doting, but cheat on their wife's readily, or woman who appear trustworthy but are actually just digging around for information. It happens all the time, and yet people still believe it."

"And that's the key right there. Those pretenders only get away with it because their victims allow it. They want to believe that their cheating husbands are faithful, that those women are really interested. We all lie to ourselves." Erik thought it sounded, sad.

"And what, pray tell, are you lying to yourself about?"

"A great many things I'm afraid. For instance, it is quite the chore putting on an understanding façade all the bloody time."

Erik laughed. "It's too late for you now friend, it is completely expected. Deviating from it would be far too shocking."

"Well I suppose it's not all bad. The sympathy I seem to exude does put me into confidence with others easily. Plus the ladies simply adore it."

"There you go, a plus right there."

"Yes, but often I find myself wishing to be cruel, I can tare anyone down with words, all I need do is dig deep enough and reveal all their little secrets."

"I'm glad I made you promise not to read my mind."

"There's the kicker," he slowly smiled, "how would you know if I kept my word?"

* * *

><p>please review, i do not own X-men<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Charles Xavier was an idiot.

Of course Erick would have taken that comment as a threat. The lug was shiftier than any cheating grad student he had ever met. As soon as the words poured from his lips, Erik was out the door. So he drank. He drank himself so silly that he was still being blinded by the soft lights of the mansion. His temples hurt and he was all around irritable.

With everything.

"Hey professor, you're not looking too hot."

"Really? Thank you for the observation, but why not leave finite conclusions to people with a degree."

Hank recoiled. "Uh, professor, I don't think-"

"No, I suppose you don't. That's my job. " Hank stepped back.

Charles immediately regretted lashing out. He opened his mouth in an attempt at contrition, but Hank had turned and was descending on the stairs. Perhaps he would make it up to him by divulging some of his theories and resources to the lad latter. It was too much effort to chase him down and apologize. Way too much with this pounding headache.

He leaned against a window in the hall and watched the grounds below. Too much goddamn pressure was building up behind his eyes. The training was nowhere near done the children were starting to feel the heaviness of impending battle possible world war death he had to contain these fears from everybody and Erik was mad at him.

His friend was upset.

Why the hell was he? That fool was far too sensitive.

It didn't help. He still felt the stab of guilt. The yard came into focus, and speak of the devil, there was Erik, jogging in the morning mist. Charles gulped down an anxious knot that was purely associated with his friend. Perhaps it was the guilt he was feeling. More probable was that it was fear. Even more probable was that it was jealousy.

Of course, those were all lies weren't they?

He smiled bitterly. He was the best liar he had ever known.

* * *

><p>Charles Xavier was sentimental.<p>

He insisted that they all have dinner together every night. He smiled fondly at the table as they chatted, and felt warmth spread over his mind.

"Now raven, I've been conducting more tests on your cells, and the results have been remarkable…"

"Damnit bigfoot, why don't you ever talk about anything else?"

"I can't believe you pushed me right off that satellite. It was killer."

"Hank, I agree with Alex, let's talk about something else?"

"I suppose your right; it's a bit heavy for the dinner table I suppose."

"Thankgod."

"Shut up Alex."

"I mean damn, I almost pissed myself. Glad you did it though, fucking awesome flying. Totally cool."

"Glad I could be of service." Erik smiled at Sean.

Charles watched him out of the corner of his eye.

"So, about that pickup line you used on me when we met, that doesn't really work for you, does it?" Moria cut apart her steak.

"You'd be surprised." Raven turned toward them as Alex and Hank argued. "I've seen it in action a dozen times, the girls love it." She averted her eyes from Charles' gaze.

He chuckled halfheartedly. "She's right. I'm not particularly proud of the line, but it has a high success rate. I duck it down to woman loving not only my intelligence, but feeling unique."

"Hmm, I can see that." Moria smiled in a way that Charles couldn't help but love.

"Professor X, a ladies man? That's surprising." Alex leaned back into his chair.

"Nah man, I can see it, it's the accent, chicks dig it."

"Ah I forgot that point. American women especially seem to love my being foreign."

Raven scooted closer to Hank at some point. He flushed madly.

"I guess if I had met you under different circumstances it could've worked."

Sean cackled. Alex's mouth slightly dropped.

"Well thank you Moria. Glad to see someone here can recognize my charms." He looked across the table at Erik.

He was pointedly ignoring him. He's such a drama queen. Even if Charles does deserve it.

"How could I not?" the suggestion in her tone is flattering. And it sends shivers up Charles spine.

"Ah come on, gross. Flirt somewhere else." Raven turns round completely and hypocritically starts flirting with Hank.

"Work it Professor X." Sean looks approving. It doesn't matter though.

Because Erik still won't look at him.

* * *

><p>Charles Xavier was restless.<p>

He plowed through the liquor cabinet, noticing that half the bottles had been tampered with. Those damn kids. All they had to do was ask.

He quickly went about the task of preparing a gin and tonic. The number of glasses he drank sank into obscurity. It was inappropriate to get drunk so close to the others. Then again, the peace was so tempting.

For some reason he found himself in the hallway. His feet were dancing an odd jig, zigzagging across the carpet. His vision was a tunnel of focus, leading him down the corridor.

To Erik's room.

Ah, he knew getting drunk was a bad idea.

But he knocked anyway. Why not? It was his chance to apologize. Even if he shouldn't have to and Erik just took things too seriously.

"Charles, what are you doing here?"

"Well, it is my house." There's a silly grin on his face. It makes Erik mad.

"Yes it is. But for the moment these are my private quarters, so if you'll excuse me-"

"I don't think I will." He brushed past Erik and stumbled into his room. He always did like this room. The dark wood and bay windows are breathtaking. "I have something to say, and I think you'll be interested in it."

Erik crossed his arms. Waiting.

It was as close to an invitation as Charles was going to get. "I'm sorry."

Erik looked taken aback.

"I'm sorry for that thoughtless comment last night. I would never read your mind without consent my friend." Charles sat in an arm chair, gravity and alcohol getting the better of him.

"Ah, hell Charles. You're drunk again."

"Very much so."

"I guess it's to be expected."

"It's my worst fault, but one of my most endearing."

"Keep telling yourself that." Erik sat on the edge of his bed, hands intertwined.

"At least drunk I can't read anything."

"What are you talking about?"

"Inebriation dulls my perception. Could only get some fragments out of someone if I'm drunk."

Erik silently processes that, files it away for future exploitation if need be. Old habits and what not.

"I think you should go back to your own room."

"I don't think I can even stand up."

"Try."

"Please do not be coarse with me."

"I'm afraid it's the only way I can be with people."

"Fine, but I'm not moving. You haven't forgiven me yet."

Erik rubs his chin. "It's fine Charles."

Victory. A small one, but victory all the same.

"I guess that's close enough."

"Will you let me get to bed now?"

"By all means, go ahead."

"I was implying you leave."

" 'fraid I can't. Too nauseous."

Erik sighs. He can't win. He slips his turtleneck off and slides on some cotton flannel. Charles watches him, but looks away whenever Erik notices.

"So, you intend on bothering me all night?"

Charles likes the way that sounds. Even if he's construing Erik's true meaning entirely wrong.

"Yes I believe I will. Don't mind me, continue." Erik catches the salacious tint in Charles' manner. It is….unexpected.

"I'm hoping the children loosen themselves up a tad before the big day."

"I think getting serious is best. This is no game."

Charles frowns.

"Don't make that face. They need to be fully prepared to deal with what might come."

"I agree. The entire world will be looking at us after this. It's quite daunting and frankly, I'm worried." He slouches forward. "I just want them to enjoy what little time they have left of this."

"Those required family dinners are a nice touch."

"Yes well, those are actually for my own benefit. I am quite selfish."

"Selfish? Doesn't seem to fit your character."

"I've always wanted to experience what it was like to eat surrounded by conversation and the ones you love." He smiles. "It's very pleasant."

"Until you lose it."

"I'd rather lose it and fondly remember then never know."

"I'd rather not feel pain."

Conversations usually turn serious with Erik. It's predictable and annoying. Something about him can automatically bend the tone of a situation. Perhaps his magnetism?

Charles giggles. Then outright laughs.

The pun is so bad that it's genius to his inebriated mind.

"Why is that funny?" the question is demanding and harsh. It shuts Charles up.

"Oh, no. I didn't mean to laugh at that. I was just thinking about something that was silly."

"Why are you insisting on staying here?"

"I don't want to be a bother-don't say it Erik. I want to spend as much time as I can together."

Erik narrows his eyes.

"You've become a great friend and even though I will still try to convince you otherwise, I know you will go after Shaw. You'll go after him ferociously. And I won't be able to stop you."

Silence.

"That being known between us, I have a nagging fear that our friendship will suffer and change-I don't want it too but, these things happen." Charles rakes back his hair over and over again. It's full of nervousness. Weakness.

"I-I just want to slow the inevitable and drag out our time."

"You're not a cognitive. How would you know that anything you're fearing will occur?"

Charles laughs bitterly. "Experience. Intuition. An oxford education. Call it what you will."

"Paranoia."

"Dear god I hope so."

* * *

><p><strong>this is taking me a long time lol, working on a coauthor as well called Faster then the speed of chemo. try it out, and please review <strong>


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